Skip to main content

Not As I Planned (Poem Alert!!)

You know how it is when at age six you decided you'll be a vet. Then at age nine you upgraded and say why not be a doctor. Then at fourteen you watch this cool movie of crime investigators and you're like that's so cool. Well if you haven't I have. I've probably imagined myself in literally ever career there is lol.

I'm not here to talk about career choices. Nope! Just want to say how life may not turn out as planned or expected but when God is your captain you can expect a safe destination.

Here's a poem I wrote titled Planned my Life.

I planned my life
Every inch of it
I knew who I was before anyone found out
I had decided my future before I understand the word
I was sure of where I was going
I knew the route,
Yes every inch of it.

At five I planned my sweet sixteen
Yes every inch of it
I knew the venue before I knew my house location
I knew which university I would go to
Before even being in high school
Yes every inch of it

What was I gonna be?
Oh that's simple
Planned that before I was eight
Yes every inch of it

I knew how my wedding day would be
Why not?
I had spent a million nights planning that out!

I knew exactly how my husband would look
Seen him a billion times in my much to big imagination.

I knew what I would achieve in life
Yes every inch of it
Written that down at 13

I knew how many children I'd have
Before I knew how to make them
How each would be
Yes every inch of them

I had been in my dream house so many times
I built it
Yes I planned every inch of it
Before I even knew it'd cost money and not ribbons

I'd be beautiful forever
Yes I would
I planned how id look forever
At 50 id look 30
Never mind, I planned every inch of it

My life was planned before I knew what life was.
Yes I had planned every inch of it.
But then I became older and found nothing the way I had planned
Where was my certificate? My house? Not even my husband was how id planned
I wondered how and why?
I mean I had planned and planned
Yes every inch of my life

I went back to my journal
Where were the kids? Where was my achievement record.
Nothing was right
But why?
Had I made an error somewhere
I checked again
No, I had planned well
So what was wrong

Finally I learnt I wasn't the author of my life
Someone bigger had been in control all along
He had planned my life before I even did
Yes every inch if it

Wow! So all this time someone else was in the picture
I had only seen my dreams, ambitions and achievements
But now I understand
Now I get it
Yes every inch of it

Someone else was there all along
He was there when I finished high school
He was there when I didn't study my planned course
He knew who I would marry before I got the meaning
He knew my dreams and ambitions before I had written them down
He had called me many times to show me the right path.
But no! I was way too busy planning my life
Yes every inch of it

By Emmanuella Chisom James


Popular posts from this blog

The Power of Mentorship

We were about to leave.  Everyone had participated in their activity except me but it looked like I was going to miss mine.  Worst of all I wouldn't be there till the end of the of the program.  It was an exciting and insightful experience and boy was I glad my mum had forced me to wake up and go to church so I could attend the Teens Fellowship which my church had been invited to. 
My heart was beating real fast as shyness did a long dance in my mind.  I so badly wanted to meet him.  I knew this was a chance of a lifetime, not one to simply close my eyes and pretend would come back again and maybe if I missed it again it'll still come back like a simple pendulum of opportunities, oscillating in my favour. Taking a deep breath I tapped his shoulders, knelt down to the level of the chair and introduced myself, "Good evening sir, my name is Emmanuella..." Then he put his arms around me and suddenly I felt calm. Yes, I was legit talking to Mr Zion Oshiobugie, The Academ…

What if I was Given 5 Talents?

The Parable of the Talents is one that currently has me feeling guilty. Why?  I'm mighty good at being passive, at having logical and acceptable excuses for not doing a task. And I've been able to fight my 'silly' conscience pretty well that I now I fear for my lack of guilty feeling.  (I'm a weirdo.  Yes I know!)

If there's one thing I admire my mum for it's how she gets things done.  How she sees something wrong, and suddenly BOOM!  a strong ambition is born and she's fights with all her heart to fix it.  I on the other hand am a different variety of her genes. I think 🤔.  While I am aware of problems and can write up a beautiful solution to it or ponder deeply about the problem, doing something about it means I've given myself a hell of pep talk (by that I mean my mum or someone else has)  or it's a do or die affair (according to the convincer). This is not to say I'm some bottled up person who stays mute. Nope! I can do stuff ...fix stu…


I failed not because i want to. I failed not because the society was bad. I failed not because the economy was crumbling. I failed not because my parent had no money.
Failure being one of the most used adjective is usually used to describe under performance and inability to meet up as expected to a particular task, but we ourselves fail to realize that failure  is not just a disappointment but a CHANCE. 
We all have different definition to describe failure but i define it as a SECOND CHANCE A second chance to rise. A second chance to think. A second chance to realize. A second chance to WIN.
I failed not because i want to, but i failed just because i had to go back to identify with me mistake and make an advantage over it. We all have and are still having our own fair share of failure in some areas, we all have and are also suffering from the discrimination attached to it but we miss out on a simple and clear fact that.  FAILURES ARE NOT THOSE THAT FAILS AND …