Monday, 14 August 2017

Songs To Boost Self-Confidence plus My Fight For Self-acceptance

If there's anything I suffered from badly it was lack of self-confidence. For a long time I struggled to see myself as beautiful. Growing up I was a very chubby kid and because of this I felt like an outsider, odd and I resented myself. I felt ugly and the spiteful comments of some people confirmed it. Even though my parents saw me as very beautiful I never did. I wished I looked like everyone else. I wished I wasn't so fat or so short. To make matters worse came pimples. This just had to crown it all. What could be worse, being one of the first in your class to start having pimples. Having your peer mates shout 'Eeeww!!!' when you were in their midst. Staring at others be so free and comfortable in their skin and wondering why I wasn't  like them. Wondering why I couldn't act like the others.

I've come a long way in discovering who I am. I'm still discovering anyway. But I've realized if there's anything I am, its certainly not being ugly. It of course took a long time to realize this. It took years of staring at a mirror and trying to convince myself. It took a lot of data subscribing to confidence boosting sites. It took a deeper relationship with Jesus. In which I could tell Him of my every pain and battle.

I'm glad to say that I've passed that phase in my life. This is not to say I don't feel uncomfortable when I'm around people. Nope I still do sometimes. But now each time I hear a voice that tells me how ugly or weird or different I am from everyone else, I'm not afraid to shout back at that voice saying:
I AM BEAUTIFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. I KNOW I'M DIFFERENT I'M AWARE I'M NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. BUT I PRAISE YAHWEH FOR THIS DIFFERENCE. I KNOW WHO I AM. I'M NOT UGLY, I'M LOVED BY MY FATHER IN HEAVEN AND THAT'S MORE THAN ENOUGH TO ME.

I still feel  awkward when I walk down the street, but this time not with doubt in my heart. Even if my mind might take a while processing the fact of who I am, my heart doesn't. My heart is sure and spirit convinced and that's what keeps me walking down that street.


Music has helped me a lot through these times of self-realization and it still does.
This is a list of songs that made me feel a whole lot better when I felt a whole lot unhappy:

  1. Imagine Me by Kirk Franklin
  2. No Better U by V.Rose
  3. Not So Average by V.Rose
  4. I Know Who I Am by Sinach
  5. Stay High by Jonathan McReynolds
  6. Lovin' Me by Jonathan McReynolds
  7. Headphones by Britt Nicole
  8. Ready Or Not by Britt Nicole feat. Lecrae
  9. Not Backing Down by Blanca
  10. Be All Right By KB
  11. Find Your Way by KB
  12. Smile by Jonathan Mcreynolds

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